Happy Thanksgiving, from the entire staff, therapists, & volunteers at the USF Counseling Center!  We are thankful for you!

“Everything You Wanted To Know About ADHD” with Virginia Goodwind, Psy.D.

Saturday, January 23, 2010 12:00 noon-1:00 pm at 36 Monterey Boulevard.

Virginia Goodwind, Psy.D. has provided neuropsychological evaluation, behavior management, and disability counseling in a wide range of settings for individuals age 2 to 92. Dr. Goodwind is a graduate of the San Francisco Art Institute; the Wright Institute at Berkely and has recieved her training in California at : U.C. Davis M.I.N.D. Institute Sacramento, CA; Veterans’ Hospital, Martinez, CA; St.Mary’s Hospital Department of Rehabilation and Medicine, SF, CA.

The internet can pose many dangerous and harmful situations for children, teenagers, and young adults. Here’s some advice from Bonnie Harris on what to do when you child has a bad situation happen with the internet, and how to prevent these types of situations!!

Q. I have a 14 yr. old daughter who has ADHD and has been diagnosed with Learning Disabilities. She does reasonably well except for social difficulties in school. She’s developmentally younger than her female peers but is desperate to “keep up” and also came out as “bi” in 7th grade. We found out last night that she used our computer webcam to send a “girlfriend” a picture of herself nude and masturbating. This girl sent the picture to other friends, one of whom hacked into my daughter’s MySpace site, posted the picture then changed the password so we couldn’t get in to get it off. I’ve written to MySpace and hopefully they’ve removed it. Our computers are password protected, they’re out in the open, and she’s not allowed to have a MySpace site. She created her site while “studying” at a friend’s house. I’ve had talk after talk with her about the seriousness of putting things online that you wouldn’t want to see on the front page of the newspaper but to no avail. How can I best help my daughter make less impulsive, harmful decisions as an adolescent without keeping her locked in the house 24/7?

A. How to keep our children safe on the internet is such a huge dilemma and one most parents are not very prepared for. First, telling a 14 yr. old that she cannot have a MySpace page is fuel for rebellion. She will make sure she gets one but will have to be sneaky about it, as was the case. Your intention is good to have password protected computers and to keep her safe but the message to your daughter is that she cannot be trusted. It is this message that she will rebel against and find her own ways when you least expect it possibly leading to worse decisions. Her young development and social difficulties means she will need more supervision than many. I suggest working out an understanding with her so you both agree on terms and conditions of computer use. My advice is for you to really connect with her and not blame her for what she has done. You might start with, “You must feel awfully embarrassed.” Then instead of lecturing her and giving her an “I told you so”, say, “Let’s figure out how to resolve this issue together.” I would suggest that, if you can, have her teach you how to set up a MySpace page for yourself. Explain that if she is going to have one, you will want to be her “friend” so you can keep up with what she is doing and help her keep safe. She will likely hate this idea but if you give her permission to have the page, she will be more likely to cooperate with your parameters.

 

Q. My 3 3/4 yr. old daughter is very bright, extremely articulate, and notices everything. She gets plenty of exercise, eats fresh food, little sugar and little red meat. The challenging area is bedtime. She appears very tired around 6pm, and we start the bedtime routine about 6:30 with either a bath or a wash and teeth. Then I sit with her alone, do stories, a little play and a cuddle, look at the pictures we drew together showing her the bedtime progression. I leave a side light on, sing a lullaby then leave the room with the instruction that she is to lie or play quietly. I go back in at frequent intervals. However shortly after I leave she will get up, shout, come out of her room, disturb the other children, switch her bright lights on…. She gets in this hyped up state jumping in and out of bed, switching her ceiling lights on, clattering round emptying Lego pieces on the floor, and opening and closing the door to check out what is going on. This can go on till 9:30 or 10, and I am about ready to strangle her! We have tried stickers and incentives for the morning. Tried turning off her side light if she comes out of the room or ignoring her but she shouts louder or comes 3 flights down stairs. I think she really is genuinely tired but she can’t switch off and plays a game of getting our attention. Any suggestions or ideas most welcome.

The USF Community Counseling Center has some great changes coming ahead. First off , we would like to congratulate our graduate assistant merit scholarship awardees:  Sheena Sattarpour and Pamela Morales. Everyone here at the center is grateful for all their hard work, dedication and time spent helping the center prosper and grow. They have been doing an amazing job !!

We also have a new staff member Nancy Rosenbledt and a new therapist intern Sarah Jones-Berg the center would like to welcome!! We will have some more information about these ladies coming up soon on our blog for you to learn a little more about them !! Thank you to everyone who has helped our center to grow, and supported us along the way!

 

UPCOMING WORKSHOPS:

Dr. Virginia Goodwind, Psy.D.
Sat 1/23  12 noon-1pm
Talk: Everything You Wanted To Know About ADHD.

Virginia Goodwind, Psy.D. has provided neuropsychological evaluation, behavior management, and disability counseling in a wide range of settings for individuals age 2 to 92. Dr. Goodwind is a graduate of the San Francisco Art Institute; the Wright Institute at Berkeley and has received her training in California at: U.C. Davis M.I.N.D. Institute Sacramento, CA; Veterans’ Hospital, Martinez, CA; St. Mary’s Hospital Department of Rehabilitation and Medicine, SF,CA.

Unfortunately, our November 21 event has been canceled.  We apologize for the inconvenience.

Wild in the City

 Family Fun in San Francisco !!

Thursday, Nov 12 10:00a to 5:00p

at Randall Museum, San Francisco, CA

Coyotes, raccoons, and skunks, oh my! Come visit our latest exhibit, featuring many of the wildlife with whom we share our urban environment. Children can play in a scaled down Victorian home in the lobby, where they can put on puppet shows, read about our wild friends in over-sized colorful books, then follow foot prints on the lobby floor to places where urban animals like to hide.        

 Randall Museum   199 Museum Way, San Francisco, CA, 94146   (415) 554-9681 -

“The Randall Museum offers a unique haven where children and adults can explore the creative aspects of art and science and make discoveries about nature and the environment by direct participation in classes, workshops, special events, and clubs.”

Keeping Our Children Safe: Transforming Fear into Confidence

By Bonnie Harris (www.bonnieharris.com)
When you were an adolescent, were you a risk taker or a risk avoider? Our experiences in childhood greatly influence how we help or hinder our children as we project our own experiences in their direction, if not directly onto their path. If you were a risk taker, you might either encourage that quality in your children or become controlling in an attempt to protect them from the experiences you knew all too well. If you were more risk avoidant, you will have a hard time understanding a child who is a risk taker and may try to control and orchestrate their experiences to insure your peace of mind.

With the recent horrifying occurrences in our area, the question I’m asked is, “How do I protect my children?” I answer with a different question: “How do I empower myself so I can empower my children to be confident and capable in the event of whatever might happen?”

To begin we must look at how we deal with fear. Does it overwhelm you rendering you incapable of empowering your children and prone to overprotect? Or does it motivate you to face reality and learn what we all need to do to keep ourselves safe?

  Whether disagreements arise over children , finances, or everyday life it’s important to find a good compromise. Here’s some more advice from Bonnie Harris.

Q. My son is 18 months old, is somewhat of a picky eater, and has fallen from 50th to 5th percentile in weight since his birth. My husband and I have both worried excessively about his eating, and mealtimes are often not pleasant. My attitude has relaxed, and I simply offer appropriate options for meals (including at least 1 thing I know my son eats) and let him eat (or not eat) what he wants. My husband’s buttons are still getting pushed in a big way. Tonight when my son would eat only 1 of the items offered, my husband kept urging him to eat a different item. Eventually my husband sighed, huffed, rolled his eyes, “whined” at my child to eat, slammed the microwave door, and slammed down my son’s cup. I feel tense, stressed, and exhausted when my husband reacts this way, and I don’t think it helps with my son’s eating. What can I do/say to help my husband relax?

A. It’s vary hard to convince a spouse of something parenting related without coming off sounding as though you are trying to control him/get him to change-which of course you are, but he doesn’t want to be told what to do. Perhaps sometime away from the dinner table, see if you can get him into a discussion of what eating was like in his family. If he has negative memories, you could talk about how important it is for the two of you to give your child positive eating memories. Acknowledge how hard that is when worry about his weight is an issue. See if you can share your deepest fears about what would happen if you did not work at getting him to eat what you want him to eat. Getting them up and on the table is a place for real communication to happen. Ask him what he would like from you and then tell him what you would like from him. I would imagine you both could agree that you would like mealtimes to be more pleasant. See if you can reach a compromise about how that can happen.