View the above informational video or click here to view our e-brochure.

The concert began with a bi-lingual introduction by Dr. Laleh Shahideh, the elegant Master of Ceremonies. After giving the audience an overview of the Center’s mission, Dr Shahideh introduced Sheena Sattarpour, Administrative Director of the Center and Sattar’s daughter.

Sheena introduced Maestro Sattar (The WAALM Award Winning Vocalist of 2005) with grace and humor and her spot-on imitations filled the theater with good-natured laughter and applause. Sheena introduced her father as her hero and the concert began with Maestro Sattar entering the stage to stirring music.

The Presentation Theater of School of Education was filled with enthusiastic applause for the magical performance of Sattar and his 4 musicians.

Singing in a language other than English, Maestro Sattar, like Andrea Bocelli and Il Volo, spoke in a language of the heart. “I felt he was speaking directly to my spirit” said Judy Giampaoli, the Director of the School Outreach Program. “It was a beautiful and moving experience” said Judy Goodell, a faculty member from the Counseling Psychology Department.

After 1 ½ hours and Sattar’s completion of the last song request, the concert ended with thunderous applause and cheering. Laleh again took the stage and encouraged the audience to consider making donations using the “Be a Child’s Hero” remittance envelopes in their programs. She then introduced Dr. Brian A. Gerrard in his role as Executive Director of the Center. A portion of his speech in which he presented Sattar with the Center’s award follows:

“The Center for Child and Family Development has a special award to honor persons in the community who make a unique contribution to children and families. Two previous recipients are Dr. Nancy Iverson, who works with children with cancer, and Cloe Madanes, the internationally famous family therapist who works with physically and sexually abused children…

… Tonight we honor Sattar for his humanitarian work in aiding many children’s organizations, such as the orphanage in Tajikistan mentioned in your program. We also honor him for his commitment to social justice reflected in the deep empathy and compassion for the suffering of others that flows through his music. In one of his songs the English translation is: “I grieve…hurtfulness is everywhere…” Sattar, the Center for Child and Family Development is pleased to present you with the 2011 Award for Outstanding Contribution to Children and Families.”

L-R:Dr. Brian Gerrard; Sheena Sattarpour, Maestro Sattar; Matthew Chalhoub

The VIP reception followed in Rm 119 with outstanding Persian food of great variety. Attendees received a signed poster of Maestro Sattar and most had their photo taken with him.

It was a magical event with great success.

USF – Center for Child and Family Development still welcomes your support and donations. Please contact them HERE

Maestro Sattar’s Official Website ; Facebook & Blog

Check out Sattar’s newest music video “Ajab Sabri Khoda Darad! (What Patience God Has!)” below:

An Evening With Sattar
A Benefit Concert for the USF Center for Child and Family Development

May 22, 2011
5:00PM
University of San Francisco’s Presentation Theater
Tickets: https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/155904
Parking Map: http://usftherapist.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/parking.pdf

About Sattar:
He is admired by more than 100 million people. He has recorded over 200 songs and performed in more than 22 countries. He was the favorite of The Persian Royal Family and is Iran’s most idolized musical artist. His name is SATTAR. SATTAR’s fame began at the age of 22 with the release of the theme song to “Morad Barghi,” a popular telvision show in Iran. The show made him an instant STAR. Young, talented, and extremely handsome, he soon became an ICON all over the Middle East.

In 1978, SATTAR migrated to the United States and continued his singing career in Los Angeles, California. In 1980, he got married and eventually became a father. His career blossomed further through the years, leading him on tours all over the world. As a caring individual, SATTAR volunteers to perform at charity events for causes he believes in supporting.

With over 30 years of fame, SATTAR’s career has been Dynamic. He has over 50 greatest hits which include the Internationally known “GOLEH SANGAM.” Other hit songs are “SHAHZDEH KHANOOM,” “HAHMSAFAR,” and “GOHLEH POONEH.”

The key to his longevity is his amazing vocal ability which ranges from traditional ballads to the diverse sounds of present day Pop Music.  Friends and family like to refer to him as “The Persian Frank Sinatra” – Loved, Respected, & a True Icon.

About the USF Center for Child and Family Development:
The Center for Child and Family Development has provided school-based family counseling to more than 10,000 children since 1984.  The Center has a strong social justice focus reflected in its commitment to serving at-risk and under-served children.

So many people go through life not knowing where they belong, not knowing where their place in life is.  There are ways to help prevent things life this from happening.  

Self-esteem is a person’s main belief about themselves. A person’s self-esteem is based on their actions, both as how as well as what he or she does. Although self-esteem varies from time to time, the pattern usually leans toward a healthy or unhealthy view of self. With healthy self-esteem, a person is more likely to succeed in life.

The Best feeling in the world is being able to go to a place where you can call home.  A place where you feel like you belong, a place where no one can hurt you, a place where you can learn something new each day from the ones who love you the most.

By making the effort to communicate with the members of our family, we know that we are loved and respected and that we belong.   Each person in your family needs to:

• Show your love to each family member. Let the members in you family know you love them for who he or she is, not for what he or she does. Make it a habit to show your love for your family members in at least two ways each day.
• Make a contentious effort to let the members of your family know that he or she is special. List at least three good qualities of each family member and post them on your refrigerator. Add to these qualities from time to time. And it doesn’t hurt to tell each other how wonderful they are.
• Praise each other. Make positive comments about each other.  It may not hurt to tell dad that you missed him or how good mom’s cooking is.  Notice the positive qualities in each other and try to not focus on the negative qualities.

• Listen to the members in your family just don’t let it go in one ear and come out the other.  When someone in your family shares something with you, give that person your undivided attention and listen carefully. Don’t give advice unless asked for it.
• Have family times. Have regular times for the family to have fun together, such as playing board or card games. Try to have as many family meals together as possible. Don’t discuss problems or concerns during these times unless it is absolutely necessary.

• Encourage family bonding time. Look for activities with the whole family can bond together and spend special moments together where everyone can feel close, a feeling of acceptance, and unconditional love from the people who mean the most in their lives.

Remember, without love there is no healing. With Love, healing is foreseeable.   Having a family can be a fulfilling and an exciting experience. Our family life is an important part of our life.  How we treat each other and the respect we give each other will affect our relationship with that person and could affect how that person feels about themselves.

Families grow and change over time, so it’s important that we have the skills to be remaining close to each other able to keep our family relationships happy and healthy.

By Stacey Chillemi

Try making a delicious mud pie together as a family this weekend!!!!

Recipe for a Delicious Mud Pie [takes about 40 Minutes]

It is thought that ice cream originated in China around 2000 B.C. Ice cream was made in Italy in the 17th century and the ice cream industry began in the United States in the mid 1800′s. There are many forms of ice cream. Ice cream enriched with egg yolks is French ice cream, nuts and fruits added to a mousse like ice cream is spumoni, and ice cream sold as it comes out of the freezer is soft ice cream. Use chocolate ice cream to make this delicious mud pie.

You’ll need:

• 1 cup (c) crushed chocolate cookies or chocolate graham crackers • 1/4 cup (c) melted margarine • 9-inch pie plate • pint of chocolate ice cream • whipped cream (optional) • gummy worm (optional) • zip-locking bag • rolling pin What to do: If possible, print out these directions. Read them through before you begin. Gather everything you’ll need and always remember cooking safety. Before handling food be sure to wash your hands. Place cookies or graham crackers in a plastic zip-locking bag and crunch the cookies using a rolling pin. In a mixing bowl, thoroughly mix together the margarine and cookie crumbs. Use your fingers and press the mixture into the 9-inch pie plate until it covers the bottom. Cover the pie plate with the plastic wrap and freeze for 20 minutes. After the 20 minutes, slightly soften a pint of ice cream in a mixing bowl by stirring it with a wooden spoon. Spoon the mixture into the pie shell on top of the cookies. Top with a layer of whipped cream if you wish, Freeze the pie for at least an hour before serving. Add a gummy worm for decoration, if you like.

Useful information: One of my favorite things to do with my dad is to watch movies at home and eat chocolate. We rented a movie last Saturday night and ate every bite of the delicious chocolate pie together. (Melissa, age 14)

The simplest conflicts are the disagreements where one of you is just plain wrong. You got the facts wrong, or you forgot, or—to be honest—you just didn’t care. Though we sometimes fight even when we know we’re wrong, our better side usually gets the best of us and sooner or later we own up to it. Sorry about that, I was wrong, you were right.

The more difficult conflicts are the ones in which you’re both right. These disagreements are harder to resolve because neither one of you wants to let go—but then, neither one of you needs to. At its worst, conflict is when you demonstrate your selfishness, arrogance, and sheer mule-headedness. But at its best, conflict is when you both express what you really believe in—and, in the process, come to a better understanding of one another.

Throughout our married life, we have often disagreed in our approach to raising our kids. Joy thought our son should wear his bicycle helmet to simply ride around the block; Tim thought it was an unnecessary nuisance for such a short distance. Joy thought we should remind the kids to take a jacket when they went out; Tim thought they should learn to remember for themselves, and a little frostbite just might do the trick. Joy thought we should install Internet filtering software on our home computer to protect the kids from accidentally going to inappropriate sites; Tim thought the kids should know that the sites were there, but develop the self-control to not visit them. At times, we seemed to disagree about everything.

Over time, we began to realize that our individual disagreements were like the leaves on a tree, obscuring the trunk behind it. Our disagreements about helmets and jackets and software were all the result of a single fundamental difference between us. When it came to the children, Joy instinctively placed their security above all else, and Tim instinctively valued their autonomy—their need to take risk in order to grow in confidence and capability.

What could possibly be wrong with valuing a child’s security?

And what could be wrong with valuing a child’s autonomy? 

The problem is that we’re both right.

It took years of lengthy “discussions” before we finally realized two critical things: that we were not really battling about bicycle helmets and jackets and computers at all, and that we were really on the same side. We just chose different paths to a common goal: a mature and thriving child.

Once we understood that the issue of security was the underlying cause of many of our disagreements, we began to search for other hidden causes. Was it possible that there were more fundamental issues like this, more instinctive blind spots that were the root of our other disagreements?

Sure enough, others began to emerge, and after many more discussions we were finally able to identify seven fundamental differences between us.

Then we began to discuss our conclusions with other couples and ask if they had observed a similar phenomenon in their own marriages. We asked each couple, “Are there recurring areas of conflict in your marriage—areas that you seem to come back to over and over again? Are there topics you can almost predict you’ll disagree on?” In each case, we encouraged them to try to identify what they were really fighting about.

To our surprise, we found that other couples had recurring disagreements over the very same seven issues we did.

Our next step was to test our theory with a larger audience. Over the next two years, as we traveled and spoke at marriage conferences across the country, we began to take a survey with our audiences. We asked more than a thousand couples a series of questions about their own experiences with conflict, and wherever we went our findings were consistent. We discovered that there seem to be seven common underlying issues that are the root cause of most of the conflict in married life.

We call them security, loyalty, responsibility, caring, order, openness, and connection.

One of us must be crazy

By this time in your marriage, the two of you have probably negotiated and compromised on an exhausting number of minor preferences and desires. But have you noticed that a handful of stubborn disagreements still remain, and that those issues seem to crop up again and again with discouraging regularity? Like ancient Rome, all roads lead to them. No matter what topic begins the disagreement, sooner or later you find yourselves on familiar ground. “Oh no, not this again!”

Recurring conflicts are a reality for all married couples, and they are a source of ongoing frustration and discouragement. Their very existence is annoying. Couples feel they should have resolved their differences by this time, and their failure to do so must mean something is wrong between them.

Not at all.

Couples often wonder if these unresolved issues reveal some secret weakness in their spouse or their marriage. Each begins to suspect the other of immaturity, pride, or sheer pigheadedness. They know that whenever the subject shifts to one of those topics, there will be no resolution. They will end up, as always, in an angry stalemate, burying the disagreement like toxic waste until it surfaces again another day.

Understanding the differences that divide

Aren’t these hidden issues destined to be perpetual? Because of our fundamental differences, aren’t we doomed to repeat these disagreements over and over again in different forms? And if they won’t go away why bother to talk about them at all?

The reason we need to talk about the issues of security, loyalty, responsibility, caring, order, openness and connection is precisely because they won’t go away. They’re always there, and they always matter. Your different approaches to these issues represent much more than differences of opinion; it’s a battle of dreams, and dreams die hard.

If you feel like having Italian food for dinner but your mate prefers Chinese, you might be merely disappointed; but if you have a deep, pervasive longing to build a safe, secure home, and your mate is not cooperating, you’ll be much more than disappointed. When these seven underlying issues are simply avoided and left to fester, they can produce an underlying atmosphere of anger, bitterness, and resentment. 

But if we do talk about them, since they’re not going to just disappear, what can we really hope to accomplish? Perhaps the best way to answer this question is by telling you what understanding these differences did for us.

First, it helped us to identify our dreams. Remember, dreams are often hidden issues. It would be very helpful in a marriage if a husband would simply say to his wife, “I should warn you that I’m extremely sensitive about issues of Loyalty. It’s a dream of mine to have an unwaveringly loyal wife.”

Unfortunately, he may be consciously unaware of his sensitivity altogether; he might not even be aware of what loyalty really entails. But just wait until the first argument about the in-laws—then the dream will go to work, lurking in the background, fueling the anger and confusion and frustration. The problem is that this husband and wife may go on forever believing that they’re fighting about the in-laws, never recognizing that the underlying concern is really all about loyalty. 

Identifying our underlying differences allows us to ignore the diversion created by a hundred minor disagreements and talk about the real issue. “What do you long for? What is your mental image of how marriage ought to be? What does a husband look like to you? How do you think kids should be raised?  Tell me about your dreams.”

Second, understanding our hidden issues helped us to put our differences in perspective. When it came to rearing the kids, one moment we thought that we disagreed about everything, from allowances to curfews to appropriate forms of discipline. Suddenly we understood that we only disagreed about one thing, but that one issue influenced our approach to dozens of others. That understanding alone changed our self-perception, from a couple who could never seem to agree, to a couple with only a handful of fundamental differences. That change in perspective allowed us to shift our focus from the superficial symptoms to the underlying disease.

Third, understanding our hidden issues helped us to understand each other’s true motives. Joy was concerned about the children’s safety, but Tim didn’t seem to care if they got hurt. Tim wanted the kids to grow to independence, but Joy seemed to want to keep them tied to her apron strings. The other’s perspective seemed so selfish and short-sighted that it naturally produced anger in each of us. Why don’t you care what happens to the kids? We both cared, of course; we both wanted the best for the kids, but that was hard to believe. Understanding the underlying conflict allowed us see the other’s motives in a completely different light.

Fourth, understanding our hidden issues helped us to anticipate conflicts before they occurred. As we said earlier, couples learn which topics are most likely to generate a conflict and “rope off” those areas as if they were minefields. But the problem with a minefield is that the dangers lie buried, so the explosions are often unexpected. We begin by discussing bicycle helmets, and before we know it, it’s a full-fledged argument. How did that happen? 

Once we understood each other’s underlying dreams, we could look for other issues that might be influenced by those same dreams. That allowed us to take a proactive approach to our differences rather than always having to clean up messes and bandage wounds later on. We knew where we were likely to disagree, and we could be ready for it.

Finally, understanding our hidden issues helped us to work together as partners instead of battling as foes. Once we understood each other’s dreams, once we each realized what the other person was valuing, our attitudes changed. We wanted to help fulfill the other’s dreams rather than stubbornly defend our own turf. That change in attitude has allowed us to work together as partners instead of constantly shouting at each other from opposite sides of the fence.

Dreams die hard, but your dreams don’t have to die at all. The presence of conflict in your marriage is not a condemnation. It simply means that you have dreams—that you are human beings and that there are things you long for, things you truly believe in. The question is, how will you believe in them together? How will you honor each other’s dreams, even when they sometimes conflict? You know what to do when one of you is wrong; what will you do when both of you are right?

Adapted from One of Us Must Be Crazy … And I’m Pretty Sure It’s You, by Tim and Joy Downs. Published by Moody Publishers, Chicago, Illinois ©2003, 2010 by Tim and Joy Downs. Used with permission.  You can hear more about conflict resolution from Tim and Joy Downs in a recent FamilyLife Today interview.

 
 Shedding excess weight, dressing correctly for one’s body, the right hairstyle and makeup (for girls) can work wonders in bringing out the best in our kid’s looks. Even a plain looking child can learn to enhance her/his best features or qualities. Talent is a quality that can make a person beautiful, too. Embracing a talent has much to do with confidence and support. Parents need to instill confidence any way they can in their kids to help them overcome so much they will go through, especially if the child is less than pretty or svelte. Support their talents, their passions and play up their good points. Cherish and respect them to instill loving natures and the roots of self-respect, which I think makes a person beautiful, too. Everyone has something going for him/her. Teach your children to be strong, self-reliant, confident and to play up their best features or qualities. 

 Self-esteem is not just built on physical appearance or talent. It is instilled in children when parents and caretakers treat them with the respect they deserve as living beings. Acknowledging their uniqueness, embracing their personalities no matter how different from ours and accepting our children for who they are is tantamount to building a strong foundation of self-esteem. If children inherently know they are lovable, beautiful, good and capable, they will take these qualities with them through their lives and other people will respond to their positive self-image.
 
 This does not mean that parents should tell their unathletic child that he/she is the next Kobe Bryant or that their desire to sing means they have a beautiful and workable singing voice. False praise is just as detrimental as no praise for their talent or positive qualities. Being “brutally honest” isn’t the answer either if your child has an obvious problem. Likewise, supporting our children in a dangerous or negative habit or friendship isn’t going to help them. Know when to be a parent and when to become a friend, always keeping in mind that we have a responsibility to actually parent our children, teach them right from wrong and that there are definite consequences in the choices they make.
 
 There will most likely be rough patches along the way, times when your child is not having a great day, month or even year. This is when we can help them understand how precious they are to us, how much they matter. We can also take time to interact with our children when they seem especially out of sorts or low. Giving kids the gift of our undivided attention can be a super charge to their feelings of worth. Teaching them something we know can give them a new hobby or passion where they might find meaning if this seems to be lacking in their lives. Attending their game or events they are involved with will let them know their achievements and interests are important and valued. Moreover, just listening to them sometimes can be a huge esteem boost. Hear what they are telling you and try to understand their point of view to better know what motivates your child, what fears they might have or where their talents lie.
 
 Supporting our children in whatever it is they choose to become involved with and in their sincere choices is another vital component of building their confidence and trust in a sometimes turbulent world. If your child needs help, don’t wait for him/her to ask you for it. By then, they might be so beaten down, they’ll never ask which just propagates more insecurity. Be their best ally, their biggest fan and a solid rock to swim to in a storm. If you are having difficulty in your own life, own up, be the adult and find help for yourself before your children crumble under your negativity. Children become insecure when they see their parents falling apart. Spare them your drama and find a way to overcome it, for your child’s sake.
 
 Love, sincerely compliment and hug them. They can always use the good energy your loving embrace imparts and you will be rewarded with a loving, secure child who is happy and in control of his/her outlook, which directly affects their life.
Copyright – 2007 – Rexanne Mancini

visit this website for more great articles: http://www.rexanne.com/articles.html

1. I grew up in a negative environment. I learnt at a young age that the world is out to get you. My dad was a pretty negative guy, and he always acted like a victim. Later I learned that really you have a choice to decide who you want to let you feel bad.

2. You are always in control of your emotions. You are always in control of how you are feeling. You are the one who decides what and how you are going to feel. If you encounter a nasty co-worker, or someone who is mean to you, you have a choice; you can allow them to make you feel bad, or you can choose to be happy.

3. No one can make you feel upset or bad but you. If you allow someone to make you feel this way, that is use giving them this power. You are allowing them to make you feel upset. I know this is hard to grasp, but really you are in control of your environment. You are in control of your feelings.

4. The next time someone says something rude or mean to you, take a breath and remember that you are in control of your life. Not them. If they don’t like you, big deal. Remember you are only impowering them by being upset. Stay happy, the happier you are, the more you will attract happy people. Eventually these rude people will see they can’t affect you and they will stop or drift away. Remember you’re not a victim, you have free will and can decide at any time how you want to feel emotionally. You are in charge of your body and your emotions. Don’t let outsiders dictate how you should feel.

for more information, go to: http://www.ehow.com/how_2159472_stay-positive-stressful-situation.html

Internship Positions are currently available with the University of San Francisco Community Counseling Center. Our interns work with a variety of clients: family, individual, couple at our counseling center based at Mercy High School, 4^th Floor. The Center for Child and Family Development has a family systems and school-based family counseling orientation. Many of our clients are parents and guardians who want to help their children overcome challenges that impede their learning.

• Placements from 10-20 hours/week
• Flexible schedules for weekdays and Saturdays
• Opportunities to collect child hours
• Group supervision Mondays 3:30-4:30 pm
• Minimum 12 month contract
• Internship stipend : $1000/yr
• Supervision by Chris Trailer, LMFT
• Psychology license supervision also available

For further information contact Dr. Brian Gerrard, 415-308-3725. To apply, email gerrardb@earthlink.net with resume and references.

Internship and Traineeship Positions Available Through Out School Outreach Program

Internship and Traineeship Positions are currently available with the University of San Francisco Center for Child and Family Development School Outreach Program. We place MFT trainees and interns in public, Catholic, and private schools where they function as a School-Based Family Counselor. Counselors work with the child, teacher, principal, and parents/guardians to help the child overcome challenges impeding school success. Common problems experienced by schoolchildren are family related (e.g. families under stress due to economic or health problems, parents separating or divorcing, and other forms of family stress). The Center for Child and Family Development has a family systems and school-based family counseling orientation.

• Placements 20 hours/week, placement day flexible
• Opportunities to collect child hours
• Group supervision (2-hour) available on different weekdays
• Individual supervision in addition for trainees
• Monthly in-service training on Saturday mornings
• Minimum 9 month contract
• Supervision by experienced team of licensed mental health professionals

For further information or to apply, contact Judy Giampaoli, LMFT, Director: School Outreach Program, jgiampaoli@yahoo.com with resume and references.

1.  Write in longhand, rather than typing. The act of putting pen to paper is a physical act of expression and “pushing out” whatever is churning inside you, and in my experience it is more effective than typing. Don’t worry about your penmanship — just get it out. The appearance of your written words on the page may hold some truths you have not yet realized.

2.  Don’t worry about spelling, grammar or correctness. This is a right-brained (emotional) experience, not a left-brained (rational) one. Again, just get it out in stream-of-consciousness fashion. You may be surprised at what you push out.

3.  Breathe. Let your body be part of the process. Notice what you feel and where you feel it in your body. Our bodies hold more truth than our thoughts do. Feel what you are feeling and go with that. If you need to cry, do so, and keep on writing. You can let your tears fall on your paper as part of your expression.

4.  Write mindfully. Stay in the present as your write. Feel your pen on the paper. Notice the textures and movement of your hand, eyes and the rest of your body. Feel your breath. Notice your thoughts, and when they wander, take a breath and come back to the pen, paper and act of writing.

5.  Use letter-writing as part of your journal. Are there things you are yearning to say to a loved one who has died? It can be helpful sometimes to write those things in your journal in the form of a letter to your loved one.

6.  Write down your dreams. Dreams can be a powerful source of healing in grief and life transitions, and writing them down is a great way to remember and learn from them. Keep your journal by your bed, and when you go to sleep, tell yourself that you will remember your dreams. When you start to awaken from a dream, stay in a semi-sleeping state and write down a few key words that will help you remember the dream when you wake up, and then write as much as you remember from the dream. Be aware of your emotions and body sensations as you recall your dream through writing.

7.  Draw pictures. Sometimes our emotions can seem to overpower our ability to write.  Just draw what you are feeling, again in a stream-of-consciousness fashion, not worrying about what it looks like. It can even be lines and shapes. This can be another powerful way to get our feelings out in a way that makes them workable.

8.  Connect with a power higher than yourself. I truly believe that the more we allow ourselves to feel our pain, the more compassion we develop for ourselves and all others who are in pain. This in turn helps us connect with a sense of transcendence, whether one calls it God, Buddha Nature, Christ Nature, or the Ultimate. Allowing ourselves to feel and express our intense pain in the safe space of journal writing  is an opportunity for real healing, transformation and growth.

Author: by Beth Patterson, MA, LPC, therapist in Denver, CO.

For more information, go to : http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/journaling-coping-skill-grief/

Why not use this Thanksgiving Day as the first step toward becoming a more grateful family? Giving thanks for one’s blessings on this holiday is traditional. Feeling grateful every day is an attitude and a way of experiencing life. If you want to cultivate gratitude as a family value, the following questions can help you make giving thanks an integral, daily part of your lives.

How can we give thanks every day?
Focus on creating both individual and family rituals. Keep “gratitude journals”; set aside time for family prayer; try to be more physically affectionate with one another; make an effort to express your appreciation and encouragement (the dinner table is the perfect place to do this). Giving your thanks daily establishes gratitude as a priority in your family.

What do we take for granted that we might express thanks for every day?
We all need to open our eyes and appreciate our daily gifts: food, shelter, clothing, good health, friendship, the beauty of nature, and the kindness of others. Talking about ways to increase our awareness of these daily blessings is productive.

Is doing for others a way of expressing gratitude?
Discuss how helping others is gratitude in action. You might not only prepare and/or help serve a holiday meal at a homeless shelter, but also talk about how your family can make a commitment of time and service to this shelter on a regular basis. Expressing thanks by actively helping others in an ongoing way can be one of your family’s “gratitude goals.”

What attributes do you possess that you are thankful for?
This self-examination encourages self-gratitude, helping us pause to appreciate our skills, talents, and personality traits. If we’ve lost sight of our special gifts, this gives family members an opportunity to point them out to us: “You are the best listener.” “You always manage to cheer us up when we’re down.” “You can fix anything that’s broken.”

Who has treated you with kindness and generosity, and how would you like to thank that person?
Gratitude can take many forms – a homemade gift, a thank-you card, a phone call, a spontaneous favor. Remembering those who have made us feel special and valued encourages us to become more aware and appreciative of human kindness. You might discuss ways to show your gratitude by passing on a person’s kindness through your own acts of generosity.

Teaching your children by example how to make their gratitude known is at the core of teaching them how to appreciate and celebrate the abundance in their lives. These are lessons learned throughout a lifetime, not merely discussions we have at Thanksgiving dinner.