Posted by: usfcommunitycounseling | April 8, 2011

Bonding time =)

You always hear stories from people saying, I didn’t feel liked I belonged in my family.  I felt like an outcast.  Everyone liked sports and I liked the opera!  Or I was the middle child I always felt lost or like I had to prove a point.

So many people go through life not knowing where they belong, not knowing where their place in life is.  There are ways to help prevent things life this from happening.  

Self-esteem is a person’s main belief about themselves. A person’s self-esteem is based on their actions, both as how as well as what he or she does. Although self-esteem varies from time to time, the pattern usually leans toward a healthy or unhealthy view of self. With healthy self-esteem, a person is more likely to succeed in life.

The Best feeling in the world is being able to go to a place where you can call home.  A place where you feel like you belong, a place where no one can hurt you, a place where you can learn something new each day from the ones who love you the most.

By making the effort to communicate with the members of our family, we know that we are loved and respected and that we belong.   Each person in your family needs to:

  • Show your love to each family member. Let the members in you family know you love them for who he or she is, not for what he or she does. Make it a habit to show your love for your family members in at least two ways each day.
  • Make a contentious effort to let the members of your family know that he or she is special. List at least three good qualities of each family member and post them on your refrigerator. Add to these qualities from time to time. And it doesn’t hurt to tell each other how wonderful they are.
  • Praise each other. Make positive comments about each other.  It may not hurt to tell dad that you missed him or how good mom’s cooking is.  Notice the positive qualities in each other and try to not focus on the negative qualities.

 

  • Listen to the members in your family just don’t let it go in one ear and come out the other.  When someone in your family shares something with you, give that person your undivided attention and listen carefully. Don’t give advice unless asked for it.
  • Have family times. Have regular times for the family to have fun together, such as playing board or card games. Try to have as many family meals together as possible. Don’t discuss problems or concerns during these times unless it is absolutely necessary.

 

  • Encourage family bonding time. Look for activities with the whole family can bond together and spend special moments together where everyone can feel close, a feeling of acceptance, and unconditional love from the people who mean the most in their lives.

Remember, without love there is no healing. With Love, healing is foreseeable.   Having a family can be a fulfilling and an exciting experience. Our family life is an important part of our life.  How we treat each other and the respect we give each other will affect our relationship with that person and could affect how that person feels about themselves.

Families grow and change over time, so it’s important that we have the skills to be remaining close to each other able to keep our family relationships happy and healthy.

By Stacey Chillemi

Try making a delicious mud pie together as a family this weekend!!!!

Recipe for a Delicious Mud Pie [takes about 40 Minutes]

It is thought that ice cream originated in China around 2000 B.C. Ice cream was made in Italy in the 17th century and the ice cream industry began in the United States in the mid 1800’s. There are many forms of ice cream. Ice cream enriched with egg yolks is French ice cream, nuts and fruits added to a mousse like ice cream is spumoni, and ice cream sold as it comes out of the freezer is soft ice cream. Use chocolate ice cream to make this delicious mud pie.

You’ll need:

• 1 cup (c) crushed chocolate cookies or chocolate graham crackers • 1/4 cup (c) melted margarine • 9-inch pie plate • pint of chocolate ice cream • whipped cream (optional) • gummy worm (optional) • zip-locking bag • rolling pin What to do: If possible, print out these directions. Read them through before you begin. Gather everything you’ll need and always remember cooking safety. Before handling food be sure to wash your hands. Place cookies or graham crackers in a plastic zip-locking bag and crunch the cookies using a rolling pin. In a mixing bowl, thoroughly mix together the margarine and cookie crumbs. Use your fingers and press the mixture into the 9-inch pie plate until it covers the bottom. Cover the pie plate with the plastic wrap and freeze for 20 minutes. After the 20 minutes, slightly soften a pint of ice cream in a mixing bowl by stirring it with a wooden spoon. Spoon the mixture into the pie shell on top of the cookies. Top with a layer of whipped cream if you wish, Freeze the pie for at least an hour before serving. Add a gummy worm for decoration, if you like.

Useful information: One of my favorite things to do with my dad is to watch movies at home and eat chocolate. We rented a movie last Saturday night and ate every bite of the delicious chocolate pie together. (Melissa, age 14)


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